Shower Power

Scott Adams' Vision

What is it about taking a shower or bath and brilliant thoughts? Seriously, some of the best ideas that I've ever had occurred while in the shower or taking a bath. Scott Adams frequently refers to engineers doing their best creative thinking while taking a shower (which is unpaid time) versus near-brain-dead living while in the office (which is paid time)…and if Scott said it, it must be true, right?

Brain Stimulation Simulation

Here’s the problem: the thoughts don’t follow me out of the vast quantities of water. I mean, I’ll get in the shower, start to rinse off the dirt, and my brain will kick in and think of some clever, witty, deep, world-changing, end all wars, understand women, type concept and while I lather and rinse some more, the idea will come to fruition and I’ll be like, “Woah! It all makes sense now! I can’t wait to get out and share this with the world/start doing this!” Then I turn the water off or drain the tub and a song or something will come into my head, just behind the epic idea that will bring peace to the nations, and slowly the brilliance will fade under the catchy riff or annoying jingle. It’s almost like drying off brushes mind altering ideas away along with the water. Suddenly I’ll remember that I had an epiphany during my daily cleansing ritual, but have nothing more than a vague notion, like “Men don’t understand women,” or “God is really big,” or “there’s something about oxygen that’s important.”

Shower Technology That Works

There’s got to be a way to be able to record these thoughts while still under the thought-provoking influence of the shower. Paper and pencil is thrown out from the start. I’ve tried installing a dry erase board; the condensation ruins that pretty quickly. I thought old school about a chalk board, but water + chalk = sludgy mess. My computer instructions tell me that water will utterly destroy it, so I’m not willing to chance that. But there’s got to be a technological answer. I mean, I have a water proof CD/mp3 player hanging from the shower head, so it can be done, right? Think about military warships and submarines. They have some of the most technologically advanced computers controlling everything from the toilet flushing to the launching of nuclear missiles, right? It’s not like in a combat zone someone’s going to say, “That’s it boys, a few drops of water hit the control panel, the carrier’s out of commission. I guess the war’s over, eh? Who would have guessed that water would somehow get onto a ship that’s in the middle of the ocean, huh?” So the technology must exist. I can’t imagine that a submarine has warnings on it that read “No water allowed!” If that’s the case, someone’s doing it wrong.

Stealth Bomber Failing Due to Clouds

What we need is like a waterproof iPad with suction cups on the back to stick to the shower wall. I’d have an epiphinal idea and simply turn around, poke a few virtual keys on the touch screen, and end world hunger. Sweet. But no; if a mere drop of water touches my tablet computer, a hidden little indicator turns red, condemning the unit to nothing more than a paperweight or possibly a doorstop. I mean, how can they sell these things in Oregon and Washington? I even asked when I got my last cell phone, “Will rain touching my phone void the warranty?” They told me yes, and gave me examples of just such a thing happening… in Florida. Apparently the humidity was too much and the little indicator turned red. So current consumer technology fails to work in rain, heat, humidity, direct sunlight, and cold. No wonder we need climate controlled homes and cars! I mean, does anyone remember the Stealth Bomber from the mid-90s? It was stealthy as long as it wasn’t sunny or rainy or cloudy or windy or cold or hot.  And the cost for each one was only in the several billions of dollars!

Waterproof Technology?

Tomorrow I’ll be testing a new technology for shower thoughts. Well, actually it’s old technology. I have my daughter’s Etcha-Sketch key chain. Let see how far back in tech I’ll have to go to thwart the power of water…